Review: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

lara_croft

Hey, this is back when Angelina Jolie was actually hot and not a disgusting stick figure!

Screenplay By: Patrick Massett & John Zinman
Directed By: Simon West

Breaking down a movie like Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is very easy. It’s a bad movie, it features the occasional well done action scene and Angelina Jolie is nice to look at, but that’s all there is to it. I have heard people try and argue that Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is a movie so bad that it’s good, but that isn’t the case. This isn’t a movie that is so bad it makes you happy, it’s a movie so bad that you are bored out of your skull by what you are watching.

It’s not like it had to be that way either, she’s a tomb raider, Hollywood has proven that films based on that type of character can be very good or at the least cheesy fun. It should have been even easier with a character like Lara Croft, because she is a woman doing what is considered man’s work. The movie turns her into nothing but eye candy. While I don’t mind the idea of eye candy personally (even though it must be said if I wanted to watch Angelina Jolie do anything for an hour and a half raiding tombs wouldn’t be it) it’s sad that the video game industry readily supplied a character that could have been used as a strong female lead and Hollywood gave us this.

Don’t believe anyone who tells you Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is anything but bad, that’s all it is. It doesn’t speak to female empowerment, it isn’t funny, it isn’t action packed. It is a dull, tedious affair with a plot that is idiotic beyond what any human being should be willing to accept. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is a mess of a movie that tries to get by on the idea of ogling Angelina Jolie for its run time with an action scene thrown into the mix every now and then. To keep it simple, avoid this movie, especially if you watch movies looking to actually be entertained.

Rating:

*1/2

Cheers,
Bill

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2 responses to “Review: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

  1. ‘To keep it simple, avoid this movie…’

    Too late.

  2. Bill Thompson

    Ha, oh, Edgar, you rapscallion, you! (Wow, that was a lot of commas)

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