Review: The Karate Kid, Part III (1989)

Terry Silver or John Kreese, who’s the biggest bad ass? I don’t know, that’s a whole lot of bad assery to go up against!

Written By: Robert Mark Kamen
Directed By: John G. Avildsen

John Kreese is my kind of man, he is a manly man and he takes his karate tournaments so seriously that in a tournament where his kids finished second and fourth respectively it ends his world. Last year my team should have just given back our team championship at a NAGA tournament, take away all those non-first place finishes and we were nothing, a bunch of embarrassments! Therein lay the true greatness of The Karate Kid, Part III, it is the most absurd of movies. Let’s run down the awesomeness,

–Ralph Macchio looks like he’s 40, yet he’s playing a kid who’s most likely 19. Then you have the Under 18 All Valley Tournament, where the two finalists are, in the movie universe, at least 19 and probably 20. God bless movie logic!

–Terry Silver’s Euro-trash ponytail, need I say more?

–Terry Silver is a super sleuth, he got up that chimney with Daniel standing right there and he didn’t even see him, awesome!

–Snake is the opposite of scary, he’s the fat pudgy kid who gets the crap beat out of him his entire life.

–There is so much overacting everywhere, I winced in pain during the first meeting between Mr. Miyagi and Terry Silver.

–The sequence in the movie that is jaw dropping in its terribleness is the trek of Daniel and Jessica to get the bonsai tree. They climb down this cove, but then they need the other guys to pull them out, they scream at them to pull them out like there lives depend on it. How the hell were they ever going to get out of the cove in the first place?

Those are just some of the things that make The Karate Kid, Part III a movie so terrible that it is awesome. Terry Silver, you are my hero, keep breaking boards and rocking the ponytail!

Rating:

*

Cheers,
Bill