Star Wars Marathon: Rebuttal: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack Of The Clones (2002)

The Star Wars marathon must move on, but now that means I have to respond to what Edgar wrote, oh fiddlesticks!

I’m going to begin this rebuttal with one simple statement, Edgar, you are a fucking moron and completely wrong in everything you say!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, you mean that’s not the way civilized people handle discourse? It’s possible to have differing opinions and still find places to agree, or even in some cases agree on most aspects of a film but disagree every now and then? I don’t know man, I think you and I may be doing this whole duel marathon thing wrong Edgar, because all I ever read on the internet is a lot of name calling and third grade level drivel when people are debating the merits of any movie. Obviously I know not all people are this way, but I need to make a point and this colorful introduction struck me as the best way to do it.

I’m sure that a lot of people thought this Star Wars marathon would end up like an old fashioned internet hoedown, but Edgar and I happen to be pretty cool with one another and are civilized adults, well I’m more like an eighth grader acting like an adult but that’s close enough. I’m not going to come on here and call Edgar an idiot or run down his opinion, and guess what, this time I don’t have much to disagree with. It is amazing that people can discuss movies in such a fashion, all these years various internet message boards have steered me wrong!

Okay, my less than brilliant opening is out of the way, and that leaves me with very little to discuss. Edgar is much better than I at waxing poetic on every little thing I say, so I have no doubt his rebuttal of my review will contain much more meat. For my part I can simply say I agree. I agree with what you had to say about the scope of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack Of The Clones, about the tone of the film, about the setting, about the adult nature of it all, and so on and so forth. It’s sad on my part I know, but I do agree with almost every point you made, and that leaves me with very little to add to the pot. Great minds often think alike, and clearly in this case we are the two greatest minds thinking alike in the best way.

However, I do disagree on a few things. Firstly there is your disappointment with the Anakin and Padmé love story. I believe my reasoning for liking it was illustrated in my initial review. The only thing I can add to what I said in that review is that where you see a lack of chemistry I see a relationship that works. It’s not the best, nor are they the brightest or the most smoldering hot, but I buy that relationship and I especially buy, and really like, the moments before the Geonosis arena. It really is that simple, what you don’t see I do, and it’s in the way Anakin never gives up and keeps going after Padmé until she does relent. Her relenting comes in my eyes because of the faults Anakin shows, because we all know that women love a man they can fix, and that’s definitely how I think Padmé views Anakin. Do the actors provide a tour de force, no, but I thought they were honest in their portrayal of this relationship and that’s why I bought it so willingly. But, like I said, I covered most of this in my initial review so there’s no need for me to keep on babbling.

I believe our biggest point of contention comes in the form of a little green alien. On the one hand I believe you and I are in agreement that the CG-ification of Yoda is a good move. I think we are also in agreement that Yoda finally showcasing his powers is a good thing. Feel free to correct me on either of these if I am assuming wrong, I am an ass after all. Where we differ is in the actual fighting we get to see from our little green friend. I can see what you are saying about Yoda being a blur and in effect appearing like a tiny blob instead of some kind of ultimate Jedi warrior. I don’t know though, I never had any problem following Yoda’s movements and I thought his hyper-kinetic style was a nice way of going against his aged and fragile appearance. The entirety of Yoda’s existence in the films has been based on the premise of first assumptions being incorrect and appearances being deceiving. Not only is his fight against Count Dooku a nice little piece of action film making, but it furthers the first assumption theme.

I know it’s not much, and I won’t be surprised when I read your rebuttal to discover that you have once again brought more to the table than I. But, this is what I have to offer, this is what happens when you and I agree on ninety percent of the film in question. I’d like to say though that I kicked your ass in this rebuttal, because we know that I did, so deny it all you want but your ass has been kicked and you are, as always, completely wrong!

Read Edgar’s rebuttal over at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill